The Friday Five!
"The only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts." -Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
Yesterday, after a little over five months and four hundred pages, I finished a draft of my book. It is REALLY long. Also, the ending is currently propped up on toothpicks. But I did it. Next step: taking some time off, then going back and making it better. Later, I will worry about my agent liking it or if any of you will ever see a word. But not today. Today, we dance!
A big thanks to everyone who wrote me with info about seeing Hamilton. You guys CLEARLY know your stuff. This week, I got tickets for late March and, based on your advice, began my education. My daughter is picking songs for me to listen to, and I’m going to brush up a bit on the history. It’s working: all morning I have had The Schuyler Sisters in my head. At least if I become completely obsessed, I know I am in good company. (Also, I am so sorry I haven’t written everyone back! I will. Once I get some sleep.)
Another thing I am totally into right now: Succession. I know, I am late to this party. But when I tried it before, it rang just a BIT too true in terms of the state of the world. Then my BFF got into it so I gave it another shot. So addictive. Like watching a car crash you can’t turn away from. We’re padding it on either side with episodes of 30 Rock and Ted Lasso, respectively, to lighten the mood. The perfect combo! *chef’s kiss*
I’ve been super into feeding the birds lately, for reasons I cannot quite explain. I have several feeders. Hot pepper suet stations. Squirrels constantly underfoot catching what falls. I’m getting bluebirds and finches, even red headed woodpeckers! Then I noticed I was attracting, um, bigger birds. Like crows. Hawks. And then, the other day, I walked out to see this:
Which was…a little disconcerting. I mean, there’s Three Little Birds, like the song. But a trio of big predatory ones hits a *bit* differently. But that’s nature, and life, I guess. You give what you can and get what you get, and sometimes it’s not all cute and pretty. Plus vultures have to eat, too, right?
Finally, a confession: there have been times I’ve wondered if sharing my whole writing struggle/process here is a good thing. Clearly it makes me seem less confident. In a perfect (!) world, I’d just announce “Here’s my next book!” and keep all this angst and terror to myself. But I have always gotten so much solace from people who are honest about their struggles with, well, anything. Maybe for some writers they sit down every day, look at that blinking cursor, and are filled with joy/excitement about what they are about to write. That has never been me, even after fourteen published books. If anything, I’m less confident now than ever, which makes it even more crazy that I’m broadcasting it to the world. But maybe, the world needs to hear it. That creating is hard and heartbreaking at times, especially when you are doing it all alone. Will I be mortified if my agent doesn’t like this book and I have to start all over again? Mortified does not even begin to cover it. But at least I know I gave it everything I had. And because of all this sharing, for better or worse, everyone else will, too.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
If it helps, sharing the process doesn’t make you seem less confident. You are strength incarnate.
You don’t owe us anything, but I would seriously rather read any of your unpublished, unedited, books (as-is) than anything else on my shelf. Instead of that inducing pressure, remember that whatever you do is good enough no matter where it ends up
Big congrats to you!! I so appreciate and enjoy you sharing your process. I hope it makes you feel a little less alone and as someone who is working on writing something, it is TOTALLY inspiring that your favorite author struggles just like every other human. So much of the writing process is hidden to the world and I'm so thankful to you for sharing all the ups and the downs.