There’s a chill in the air now most mornings, so I can’t deny it: fall is here. Even if in NC, where I live, we will still most likely hit ninety degrees a few more times, the signs are all around. I’m seeing acorns. Leaves falling, sporadically, but enough to notice. And I am fully sick of everything in my closet, even if I am not quite ready to make the shift to jeans and sweaters. (Best to wait until AFTER those ninety degrees pass, I think.) I am always a little sad to see June, July and August pass, but honestly this summer has been so full of crazy ups and downs that I am just hoping September brings some steadiness. Here’s hoping.
A couple of weeks ago, my BFF sent me a link, saying I’d made the local news. I the WEIRDEST possible way, though. In honor of move-in day at UNC—always a big deal here in Chapel Hill—-they ran a flashback segment to what it looked like way back in 1984. There was a lot of big hair. Cars that looked like antiques, now. And glimpses of the town as it was, so long ago. Also: a shot of some teenagers, walking towards the camera. And one of them was me.
Yep, there I am, in one of the oversized button downs I favored back then. My cousin told me she remembered this perm, which I had blessedly managed to forget. (Family is the ultimate fact check.) I have to say, it was so surreal to catch this glimpse of myself, unaware, all these many years later. It’s one thing to look at a posed picture, when you’re smiling and waiting for that click, knowing it’s coming. But catching your fourteen year old self in a crowd, fleetingly, is a whole other thing. I want to lean in and fill that girl in on the various humiliations and triumphs that are to come. But maybe it’s better that I can’t. Although I do want to tell her it gets better. Especially the hair.
Lately, I have not been sleeping well. I know that I am SO very lucky that this has not been a big problem for me up until now—-I have friends who have dealt with insomnia for decades, bravely—-so I hate to even complain about it. But I am TIRED, so I will. Good lord. Can I tell you how well acquainted I have become with the face of my digital clock and the panic that I will spend the next day a total zombie? I think I just did. Hard to say, as I am so tired. I am trying all of the hacks: good sleep hygiene, cutting caffeine, lavender oil and keeping the room cool. Still, my eyes snap open around 4:30am each day and stay that way, while all the mistakes and stressors of my life click through my brain like the worst slide show ever. Hopefully it will pass soon. But until then…*yawns*.
TV wise, I’ve become obsessed with Bad Monkey on AppleTV+. How did I not realize how much I have missed Vince Vaughn? Plus there is the added bonus that it takes place in the Florida Keys, so I get a little bit of beach (I sound so Ken, there) every time I watch. It’s also made me want to go read some Carl Hiaassen, never a bad thing. Then last night we watched the first two episodes of English Teacher on FX, which was really good and features Enrico Colantoni, who played Veronica’s dad on Veronica Mars. ANY show gets points for use of a VM cast member, although this one didn’t even really need it.
Finally, a word about this Five, which I know has been about as erratic as my sleep lately. My plan is always to do one a week. And in my more inspired moments, I think about maybe even expanding this Substack to a couple more entries on other days as well, or even doing a paid version with bonus content. There are so many people doing SUCH cool stuff on this platform with newsletters (my friend Jennifer Weiner has a great one now) and it seems like the possibilities of what you can do are endless. But at the same time, I am trying to finish a YA book (yes, still) and maybe begin one that might not be. (Terrifying! But also exciting.) Plus, there’s, you know, life: grocery shopping, dogs, my kid and keeping up with 90 Day Fiance. So maybe I’ll try to just stay steady on Fridays and keep my options open. For now, it feels good to be back here, even if I am yawning as I do it.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
Hi Sarah! My name is Jania!
I’ve been reading your books since I was about 12 (I’m 26 now) & you have been one of the most pivotal authors I’ve encountered. You shaped my love of reading.
My mom used to take my older sister & I to the bookstore & we’d leave with piles of your stories. My all-time favorites are Once & For All and The Rest Of The Story.
The way you weave a love story into a life story. The details of your settings, the crossovers & easter eggs, the particular cadence of your writing — it’s all so beautiful.
I started seriously writing around 17 & when I thought about the stories I wanted to tell, I thought about you. When people ask me about my favorite author , I tell them it’s you.
I was so excited to learn that you had a substack. I just found this platform a month or so ago & I’m feeling my way around, trying to discover what I’d like to write.
I’m loving the Friday Five — your words. This particular rhythm, I’ve deeply missed this melody.
Anyway — just wanted to say thank you. You are an extraordinary talent.
Hope I’m not overstepping, but those thoughts sound like anxiety and if it’s affecting your sleep, you might want to talk to your doctor about an anxiety medication before bed. They have worked wonders for me!
Otherwise, there’s always the whole “write down all the negative thoughts in a list and tell your brain: these are all morning problems” trick
Best of luck!